Cloth diapers: Prefolds or fitteds and covers

One cloth diaper option is using either prefolds or fitteds with covers.

Prefolds are rectangular diapers that have more absorbency in the middle and less layers along the sides. (Flat diapers are one-layer diapers that don't have the thick middle.) With either one, you would use either diaper pins or a Snappi to fasten the diaper. There are several folds to use to get the best fit for your baby.
Fitted diapers are diapers that are cut and sewn into a shape that requires no folding, they resemble a diaper and some even have either velcro or snap closures. These types of diapers can be made out of several types of material. Hemp, Indian or Chinese cotton, or bamboo are some options. With the cotton, you can choose natural, bleached, dyed or even patterned. I don't, nor can I find many who do, recommend using the brand you can get from many grocery stores simply because they are not as absorbent or high quality as the others I have listed here.
No matter which you choose, unless you buy used, you'll have to do a number of pre-washes before use to strip the natural oils from the fabric and 'quilt' them up. The more you wash them, the more absorbent they become.
All three kinds would require a cover to make them waterproof.
Covers are generally waterproof or water resistant. PUL (Polyurethane Laminate) is fairly waterproof, but will wick or leak if the diaper gets too wet. Fleece is another option but will wick if compressed. Wool is wonderful because it's breathable, absorbent, and easy to care for.
These covers are either closed by velcro or snaps, and some can be pulled on, reminiscent of the old style plastic pants.

When choosing this type of diapering system, you will need less covers than you will need inner diapers (prefolds or fitteds) because you will be able to reuse the covers without washing as long as no feces get on them. The inner diaper will catch it most of the time, and while the cover may get wet with urine, you would simply set the just used cover aside to air dry, use a new cover in the meantime and swap them out as needed. How many you will need varies depending on the age of your baby and how often you wish to wash. For a newborn, washing every 24-36 hours I recommend at least 2 dozen inner diapers and 6 covers.

Why I chose cloth diapers

I used disposables with my older two children (now 6 and 4). Their bottoms would be hot and red, and sometimes broke out in serious rashes that I felt terrible about, convinced I was doing something wrong. I would change them more often, but that wouldn't help either.

When I was pregnant with X, I got 'crunchified'. I immersed myself in topics like breastfeeding, babywearing, natural birth options, and circumcision (or lack thereof). The one thing I was stumped on was cloth diapers.

I had seen a few posts concerning them but didn't really know what the big deal was. Until I saw posts about chemical burns and male infertility and testicular cancer associated with disposable diapers. The amount of chemicals that we're putting in, on and around our babies, it's no wonder that we're seeing more of things like this.

Still, I was lost when it came to CD'ing and what I would need to start. When I thought of cloth diapers, I thought of prefolds, pins and plastic pants. I did my research and found some options that would work for us. There's a lot of options for different lifestyles.

Baby Massage

Infant or Pediatric massage is “A special massage geared for a newborn baby through the first several years of his or her life.” (Mitchell). The history of infant massage dates back to ancient times although it is still fairly new to our American culture. There are many benefits to infant massage and almost no negatives to be found.

Until the surge of popularity of more natural childbirth techniques such as the use of midwives, infant massage was not much used in our Western culture. “Infant massage was introduced formally into the United States in 1978 when Vimala Schneider McClure, a yoga practitioner who served in an orphanage in Northern India, developed a training program for instructors at the request of childbirth educators.” (Spehar, 2001). Prior to that, infant massage has been popular for centuries in India and the Asian and Pacific Island cultures where the benefits of nurturing touch have long been recognized. It was often part of the daily ritual for baby to have a massage as a part of their bath time routine.

The benefits of infant massage are numerous in every way from emotional to physical. “…including helping to promote relaxation; improving sensory integration; helping aid deeper and longer sleep; encouraging mid-line orientation; assisting in bonding and attachment; helping improve state regulation; assisting in vocalization; stimulating the circulatory and GI systems; assisting in pain relief; and enhancing neurological development.” (Mathias, 2003). Infant massage has been proven to help develop deeper bonds between the caregiver and the infant as well as greatly increase development in babies that were born prematurely or who were exposed to drug abuse in the womb.

One study done on twenty preterm neonates found that utilizing infant massage practices for three, fifteen minute segments a day for ten days showed an average of a forty-seven percent increase in weight gain in the massaged babies over babies who were not exposed to these infant massage techniques. They also found that these babies were more active and alert than their un-massaged counterparts and that they developed motor skills faster. In addition to this the average hospital stay was roughly six days shorter which leads to a monetary savings for both the parents and the hospitals involved. (Field PhD, Schanberg MD, PhD, Scafidi MS, Bauer MD, Vega-Lahr MS, Garcia BS, Nystrom MD, & Kuhn PhD, 1986)

The benefits of infant massage do not stop at the babies involved. It has been found that the caregivers administering the massages can benefit greatly as well. The most obvious advantage is that a less fussy baby equals more relaxed parents. Practicing infant massage helps parents be more in tune with their babies needs and wants and makes it easier to determine what baby is asking for with less effort. Many parents notice an increase in confidence of their own abilities after becoming involved in infant massage and seeing the positive results that are direct responses to something that they have done with their own hands. Mothers suffering from postpartum depression can also greatly profit from providing infant massage due to the increased ease of bonding that is the automatic result of increased touch between mother and child. Massage also helps release oxytocin (also known as the cuddle hormone) which is another way to help amplify the bond between mother and baby. (Infant Massage USA, 2006)

While the superficial benefits of massage have long been known in our country, we are still finding more and more deeper ways that this ancient art can help in people’s lives. Infant massage is unquestionably advantageous with the only argument against it being that some babies may not like it. Our culture is drastically behind on some of these simple, obvious and wonderful practices that are second nature to those civilizations around us, little by little we are beginning to catch up. This art is growing everyday and, optimistically, soon it will be an automatic and integral part of raising a baby.

References:

Field PhD, T. M., Schanberg MD, PhD, S. M., Scafidi MS, F. S., Bauer MD, C. R., Vega-Lahr

MS, N., Garcia BS, R., Nystrom MD, J., & Kuhn PhD, C. M. (1986). Tactile/kinesthetic

stimulation effects on preterm neonates. Pediatrics, 77(5), Retrieved from

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/77/5/654

Infant Massage USA. (2006). Benefits of infant massage for parents. Retrieved from

http://www.infantmassageusa.org/learn-to-massage-your-baby/benefits-of-infant-massage/

Mathias, M. (2003, November). Infant massage - everyone benefits. Massage Today, 03(11),

Retrieved from http://www.massagetoday.com/archives/2003/11/05.html

Mitchell, M. (n.d.). Massage therapies. Retrieved from

http://thesehealinghands.net/definitionsofservices.html

Spehar, J. (2001). Infant Massage. Encyclopedia of alternative medicine. Retrieved from

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_g2603/is_0004/ai_2603000452/

Xavier's birth story, Part 2

On Friday, August 20, we had a cookout behind one of the apartment buildings, with my sister and a few neighbors. I had been having mild contractions all day but not very consistent. It was hot and I was cranky. My due date wasn't for another 15 days. The next night, I was putting a diaper on my daughter for bedtime. I was sitting on my son's bed and felt a 'pop'. I jumped up, told the kids I loved them and goodnight, and ran to the bathroom.
Sure enough, there was plenty of water coming. I called Rick. I told him my water broke. He asked me if I was serious. I remember wanting to slap him... We called the midwife and since my labor hadn't really gotten going yet, she told me to just get a good night's sleep and relax. I went downstairs, and knocked on the neighbor's door. I told him, "Just wanted to let you know, I'm in labor, my water just broke, so if you hear me, I'm sorry, but that's why." He looked at me like I had grown two heads and asked me why I hadn't left for the hospital. I laughed and told him that the hospital wasn't in the plans and we were going to have the baby in our bed.
I went into hyperspeed mode. Didn't so much relax as rush through making sure everything was in order. Put the plastic on the bed, do some dishes, sweep the floors and clean the bathroom once more.
The next day, Sunday, one of the midwives came out, listened to the baby, told me how happy and peaceful I looked for someone who was in labor, and timed a few contractions. By this time, I had told everyone that my water had broken, and was getting worried emails and phone calls about what they were going to do to hurry things along because I was 'on the clock'. No matter how much I tried explaining to everyone that since they weren't checking me and therefore introducing bacteria, my risk of infection was lower and we were monitoring for signs of that, too. We would not be 'doing anything' and that included going to the hospital.
I spent so much time walking that day that my feet hurt, but I was afraid to sit down and relax because I didn't want to chance slowing anything down. Contractions would come strong and close and then slow down. It never got to the point where it was too much to handle, I was staying very comfortable by moving around, taking walks outside, and eating small snacks.
Sunday came and went, with no progress to speak of. Monday and Tuesday came and went in much the same way. Contractions happened the whole time, but sometimes weren't less than 20 minutes apart, other times they were 3-5 minutes apart. The midwives came out several times, spent the night on Tuesday night. I was increasingly getting worried messages from everyone, family, friends, parents. Some of my family even posted a nasty post on his own Facebook page, basically amounting to the fact he thought I was irresponsible for not having a medical caregiver for my pregnancy and birth. He had not even asked how I was. Every time I got stressed out, my contractions would all but stop. I was wore out. I was mentally exhausted. I was tired of even being outside because anytime anyone even drove by, I had to deal with, "Where's the baby???". Wednesday afternoon was almost 4 days after my water had broken and over 5 days of contractions. The pain was not unbearable. I welcomed it. I visualized my uterus contracting and making my cervix open. I showered as I pleased and it helped.
I asked the midwife about accupressure. She phoned a friend and pressed on certain areas of my feet, ankles and hands. The contractions kicked in and she left, assuring me she was only a phone call away.
The entire time, I had been diligently monitoring my temperature. Shortly after she left, I started feeling weird and took it again. Normal. An hour later, I took it again. I stared at the thermometer in horror. I had a fever. It was over 100° and I felt like crap. This couldn't be happening. I started crying as Rick called the midwife. She advised us to go to the hospital because there was a good possibility that I had gotten an infection.
I cried. I called my sister, and she came over. She helped me pack while I cried some more. All of this. For nothing. I was scared and I was angry. I packed everything I thought I would need and met my midwife at a hospital in another county. It was the most baby and momma friendly hospital she had dealt with and we agreed it was where I wanted to go if we had time and needed a hospital transport.
We walked into the hospital and went to register. I braced myself for the worst. I signed every paper they wanted me to and carefully printed on each consent form, "Separate consent needed for c-section, no circumcision". To my surprise, she was wonderful about the fact that I had transported from a home birth. When I got up to the maternity department, everyone there was great with it, too! (In fact, many were in awe that I had lasted that long)
The OB/GYN (not MY OB/GYN) came in and discussed the options with me. She checked me. They started an IV with antibiotics and put me on a fetal monitor. I was dilated to a 3 (only a 3!?!) and every time I had a contraction it hurt so much worse because I was stuck on my back in an uncomfortable bed with straps tightly around my belly. I begged for them to take it off, let me walk around, let me get a shower. No go.
I had two options. Since my labor obviously wasn't going well on its own, they needed to speed it up with pitocin if I was going to stay there, since they don't like to do VBACs and pitocin is contraindicated for VBACs because it raises the risk of uterine rupture. So, I could either go to a VBAC friendly hospital over an hour away, or stay and have a repeat C-section. Even if I transferred, there was no guarantee I would be able to get my VBAC, anyhow. Hubby and I carefully weighed everything and talked to the OB/GYN. After discussion and a lot of crying, I decided on the repeat C-section. She told me that she would put me in but she had a few other surgeries to do first. It was the middle of the night on Wednesday night.
The contractions that hadn't bothered me at home now had me crying. They were very painful and I was powerless against them. I couldn't move and at this point it seemed like pure torture. The contractions weren't doing anything and I already knew it was going to end in surgery anyhow.
They came in to get me at about 3 am. I insisted that my husband be allowed in the OR the entire time. We had also talked to her about our wishes for skipping the Hep B shot and the antibiotic eye drops, and delaying the cord clamping as long as possible for a C-section. She was wonderful about it and assured me that we'd discuss it when we got to the OR and our wishes would be followed.
The worst thing of all was the anesthesiologist, he was very rude and pulled on my gown(which is a big no-no for a sexual assault survivor). I asked him several times before I blew up, while laying on the operating table and demanded that he treat me like a person. Things got much better from then on out. I didn't feel a thing as they cut my stomach open, and they were pulling out my baby boy before I knew it. I saw them lift him above the drape and started crying. They brought him over to the warmer and I sent Rick to be with him. Our son was born at 3:46 am on August 26, 2010 and weighed 8 lbs 2 oz.
Later, the OB came to see me in my room. She expressed that she believes that everything happens for a reason, and while she was doing the surgery she discovered I had what's known as a Bandl's Ring.

I've been asked if I'm at peace with the way my home-birth turned out. Ya know what? I am. I really am. I know that I tried my hardest and did everything in my power to have a VBAC at home. I spent over 4 days laboring for my bundle of joy and it proved to me that I will never need an epidural. If I can do that, I can do ANYTHING. I feel empowered. I feel strong.

Xavier's birth story (and 103 hour labor) Part One

Yes, you read that right. 103 hours. 99 of which were quite blissful and lovely. Yes, again, you read that right. More about that later. This is part one, and I'm going to talk about my pregnancy and how I came to the decision to have a HBAC (home birth after cesarean)
I started my pregnancy (my third) seeing an OB/GYN and expecting a repeat C-section. Months prior to my due date I started getting anxious. I hated the surgery, hated being separated from my daughter even though we were both fine, and hated the recovery time. I brought up this anxiety to my doctor and she brushed off my concerns, stating that we'd have plenty of time to worry about that later.
After that appointment, I started looking into VBAC. None of the hospitals in my area would do it. I would have to travel to another county. I was willing, but worried. I did more research.
I even joked that we could set up a pool in the apartment downstairs in my brother in law's living room and labor there. Everyone laughed but to me it was only half joke. The thought process had started.
Soon after, a friend of mine gave me the name of a midwife in the area who did home-births and whom she had known for about 30 years. I was floored. It was a possibility in my mind but never actually believed I'd find a home-birth midwife. I got home and added her on Facebook. We set up an appointment to meet. I just had to get through the OB appointment before the midwife's appointment.
The midwife at the OB's office was less than supportive. Actually, she was quite rude. She told me it would be irresponsible and too risky to have a HBAC. I told her I would not be having another section, and since I couldn't have a VBAC through her practice or hospital, it left me with little choice. She shook her head. (I found out later she went on to actually go so far as schedule the section anyhow)
Finally. Over. I got about the same reaction from everyone. Parents, family, nobody was very supportive. Everyone thought I had gone off the deep end. Crazy! A few friends spoke up and told me how cool they thought it was that I was going to be trying to do this at home, and a few mentioned how they wished they could do it, too.
Finally. I didn't feel so ALONE.
That week, what I was waiting for. I still had no idea how much a home birth would cost or whether my insurance would cover any or all of it.
I got my answers. A home birth would cost us more than we could afford, and no, our insurance wouldn't cover a dime. Great. Defeated, I started thinking about the surgery again and how horrible it would be.
Then I got a message from the midwife. She told me that if she got into birthing babies for the money, she wouldn't be doing it for thirty years. We set up a payment plan. A home birth was within my reach and it felt wonderful!
I was only about a month and a half away from my due date, and I had made a major change close to the end of the game. Again, crazy, right? I ordered the birth supplies that we would need and prayed I didn't go into labor before they arrived. The cloth diapers came, I attended a birth class through my midwife, and then the birth kit arrived. All this while, I was attending bi-weekly appointments with my OB/GYN as well, and prenatal appointments through my midwife. I put the supplies in a drawer, set up the bassinet, and cleaned everything.
I couldn't wait to give birth in my own bed, and have my labor go the way I wanted it to. No IV's, no restrictions on movement, no continuous monitoring, I was so excited.
...to be continued...

My Stance on Circumcision

I look at my sweet, innocent, perfect little boy and I try to imagine what goes through another parents mind when they are faced with the decision of circumcision. How can you hold a new baby in your arms, a baby who is utterly dependent on you for everything, a baby who trusts and loves you completely and then hand that baby over for a procedure that is unnecessary, violating, terrifying, and excruciating because it's "what you do"?

Many parents are pushed into it because they don't know there are other options and/or they don't know all of the details and facts surrounding it. But, there are still so many more who simply do not want to know or who do know and spout cliches such as "it's a personal choice" (personal for whom?). People need to wake up as parents and open up their hearts and minds to deeper levels of compassion. Our children need us to.

The more you know the more you are against it!

The arguments for circumcision should not be based on potential health benefits. They should not be based aesthetic reasons. They should not be based on hygiene. They should not be based on society reasons (i.e. it's the most common thing to do) The only things that should be considered when making a decision about circumcision are: Does it cause them pain? Can it harm them? Is it mutilation without the consent of the individual? Is it really necessary?

Health Benefits:

Circumcision is a surgery performed on a new-born baby to prevent problems that may never happen. I've often heard people say that circumcision reduces risk of UTI's, STD's and some forms of cancer. Last I checked, UTI was not a surgery worthy issue, easily remedied with antibiotics, I would much more highly recommend to people to practice safe sex as a more effective means of disease prevention and the foreskin has nothing to do with cancer. And, in any health issue that will arise, isn't it a better method to deal with problems when (and if) they happen as oppose performing surgery on so many baby boys that don't need it as a "just in case"?

Aesthetics:

Hearing the phrase "an un-circumcised penis looks ugly" makes me want to scream! It is utterly selfish for anyone to expect their man to be cut because they think it looks nicer. Our world is superficial enough and this is only adding to it. It is a cosmetic surgery performed on an infant! That is completely unacceptable.

Hygiene:

A scalpel is not a substitute for a bar of soap. If you really think about it the concept is ludicrous. I've heard everything from intact men all smell bad to little boys don't have the capacity to keep themselves clean. First of all, women produce far more smegma then men yet most of the world thinks that cutting on a girl is heinous. If a man cannot keep himself clean with his foreskin intact, he's probably not going to be doing worlds better if he was circumcised. Lazy is lazy and we only perpetuate that it's acceptable to be lazy because "we'll just cut that nasty little part off". As for little boys, they are perfectly capable of learning good hygiene as long as their parents are willing to make sure that they teach them. If he truly is beyond all hope and you can't teach him to be clean...well, foreskin or not, he's still gonna be dirty anyway.

Society

Doing anything just because it's "more common" or "normal" is no way to live. Circumcising our boys so that they won't get picked on later is both a wasted effort as well as a bad message to teach . Trying to stop your kids from being picked on is nonsensical because kids pick on each other, it happens. I know any number of circumcised men who were picked on plenty regardless of the condition of their penis. We should never encourage our children that they should be altered in some way to be more accepted, we should be trying to instill more confidence in them and teaching them that they are wonderful, lovable people.

Seriously, this is surgery and surgery is serious. It should never be brushed off as "not a big deal" especially not with a newborn baby. When our children begin in this world is when they need our protection the most. It is our instinct to worry about every bump and bruise that they get during their earliest years, why would we have their very entrance to the world be one to encompass something so extreme as being put under a knife? When they need us the most why would we expose them to an experience that is so very horrible?

Letter from Grace 'Grim' Matthews to the WHO

I have to stress that I think such messages are always better if expressed in the speaker's own words - I think we have more of an impact if each of us makes an individual... contribution to the cause. That way, the multitude of our voices can't be ignored.
That said, here follows the content of my email to the WHO:

To those at the World Health Organization,

As I'm sure you know, today is International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation.

I think this is a great promotional event, to raise awareness of the suffering endured by the millions of women and girls who are robbed of their right to decide what happens to their own bodies.

Genital Mutilation is a heinous act - it permanently alters the body of people who do not or cannot consent. It is my belief that every person, regardless of their ethnicity, culture, age or sex is entitled to genital integrity. That is, no-one should be legally permitted to interfere with another individual's healthy, normal genitals without either their explicit consent or an immediate, unambiguous medical need.

Tradition should be no obstacle to granting people these rights, and claims of religious conviction should not entitle people to be exempt from respecting the bodies of others.

I would hope that the WHO would take a stand for equality, and for the rights of all to their own bodies, by declaring itself opposed to the genital mutilation of males as well as females. Young boys, just like young girls, have the right to experience their whole, natural body, and not have tissue amputated for reasons of religion or tradition. That circumcision of males is not regarded as criminal is an example of hypocrisy in the international consensus.

If an adult man, against his will, had parts of his genitals surgically amputated, those responsible would be regarded as having breached his human rights. At what age then does he gain such rights? Because if the same act was perpetrated against him as a newborn, many, including the WHO according to its official position, would not consider this wrongful. Likewise, if a child is restrained and has part of their genitals cut away, our response differs based not on the severity of damage done, nor on the future impact, but on the sex of the victim and nothing else.

Not even a case for prophylaxis can be made, as male circumcision, despite its many claimed benefits, confers no advantage that can't be gained by other, less intrusive methods. This includes even the latest fad: STDs. No logical case can be made for condoning partial amputation of male genitals, whilst condemning comparative (and even less extensive) procedures in females. Thus the only case left to be made is almost invariably one of ethnocentricity, of considering the traditions of one culture as superior to the traditions of another; or of sexism, differing response based only on the sex of the victim.

The campaign to end female genital mutilation would be strengthened immeasurably by the condemnation of ALL genital mutilation.

I would hope that the WHO would make a commitment to the rights of all to their own bodies, ignoring differences of sex, age, ethnicity, etc. and so would condemn unnecessary genital surgery of any kind on non-consenting individuals. I look forward to a day when the right to bodily integrity is recognized internationally, and I hope that the World Health Organization shares this vision.

Yours faithfully,

Why Is The Body Dirty?

So many time our genitals are considered "dirty" by default. Society in general is still so repressed against anything that feels good and damns it as wrong or evil. I used to feel very ashamed of my own body due to some unpleasant experiences when I was very little that were well beyond my control. It has taken a long time to get past the shame and guilt that I felt over something that wasn't my fault.... But, with the help of a wonderful man, I have gotten past much (not yet all) of those feelings. The pleasure that can be enjoyed between two loving people is the most beautiful gift that we, as people, have been given. I equate the mutilation of any child's genitals to be on the level of what was done to me. It is all violating and painful and it's something that later has to be overcome lest it rot away in your mind like a festering sore that only breeds anger and cruelty. Instead of giving our children more things to overcome we should be focused on giving them all the love and care that we can so that they can grow up and share that love. We should encourage them to enjoy life and all it has to offer instead of focusing on the bad. Only in this way can we help promote true happiness and respect among all.

Pain can be the greatest tool used for growth. The only choice in situations like these is what we do with it afterward. Many people choose to become submerged in anger and continue the cycle of perpetuating more pain in others and some of us allow ourselves to become vulnerable enough to really look at it, deal with it and use it to make a difference for the greater good. It hurts for a while but in the long run becoming part of the later group is much more rewarding and help ease the pain over time. Being in the former group keeps us stuck with no opportunity for progress and only spreads the pain like a disease. The cycles have to stop somewhere, it just takes a strong enough person to stand up and say "This was wrong and I won't be a part of it anymore!" My mother taught me that by how she broke away from her family and took the risk of change to create a better life for her and for me. I love and respect her more than I can express for showing me that things can get better if you only take the chance to try. She is the reason that I believe that everything will be okay and that even at the worst of times it will get better if you only allow yourself to believe that it will.

~Alexis