Circumcision

Circumcision seems to be one of the hottest debate topics among parents lately. One side is fighting for the rights of parents to decide what happens to their children while the other side is fighting for the rights of infants who cannot speak for themselves.

If you can put aside your preconceived notions for a few moments and just look at the facts surrounding this issue there can be no question. Circumcision is wrong. It is an unnecessary, potentially harmful, unquestionably painful, preventative procedure performed on newborns to help with problems that are quite likely to never happen. I’m all about treatment for problems that exist, but it makes far more sense to treat a problem if it arises and not “treat” a perfectly healthy body as a “just in case”. There are many reasons given for why you should circumcise but those reasons are all fairly easy to dismiss with a healthy dose of common sense.

Religion:

Should parents mutilate their child for a religious rite? No. The circumcision procedure that is performed now is not what was originally done as a religious rite, and no matter what the parents religion is it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s their religion being imposed on his body.

Aesthetics:

Should parents mutilate their child so that their sex organ is more visually appealing? No. Honestly that entire concept is incredibly disturbing as well as being something to promote more superficiality. Why teach children that their bodies are imperfect, in any way, the way that they are born?

Social/Cultural:

Should parents mutilate their child so that they fit in better? No. Instilling good self-confidence in them will be far more effective and this too is something that promotes more superficiality and parental laziness.

Health:

Should a parent mutilate their child just to make sure that there are no problems with that part later on? No. Amputation is not prevention which is why we do not have our teeth removed to prevent cavities or our toes cut off to prevent athlete’s foot.

Hygiene:

Should a parent mutilate their child so that they have better hygiene? No. A scalpel is no substitute for a bar of soap and good hygiene is perfectly possible without involving surgery. This reasoning promotes the idea that boys are incapable of learning to wash themselves properly.

I had some conflict with my son’s father about whether or not our son would be circumcised. He was completely for it while I was (obviously) against it. One of his biggest reasons to push for it was his concern for our son being picked on once he was in school. Now, after a year and a half of getting all the information (sometimes against his will :-P) he has switched standpoints entirely-the more you know the more you are against it. He now acknowledges that worrying about your kid being picked on if they’re intact is fairly ridiculous. For one, your kid is going to get picked on no matter what you do or don’t do. Other kids will find something, they always do. For two, where is this epidemic of boys in locker rooms all comparing their junk? That was one of the things that DH said, he wasn’t sure why he was so worried about him getting picked on because that’s just not something that’s a common topic of discussion. I mean, really, most other children who would be closed minded and cruel enough to think lesser of a boy who was intact are probably not secure enough in themselves to actually admit that they were looking at another boy’s penis.

But the number one reason I hear for circumcision to still happen is not fear of teasing it is hygiene. Come on folks, it just seems like the epitome of parental laziness to put your newborn through a surgical procedure with little to no painkillers just so that cleaning their winky is easier when they’re older. Time and again people have insisted to me that little boys just “aren’t capable of proper hygiene”. Yes they are!! Little boys are just as able to clean themselves as little girls are; the simple fact is that all kids are rather gross. We, as parents, have the responsibility to make sure we teach our children how to care for themselves and take the next step to make sure that they are actually doing it. It is our job. My five year old has a problem wiping properly, I don’t wish that she had been circumcised so that it would be easier to keep clean I simply make sure I help her clean herself until she is able to do it properly for herself. How incredibly selfish is it to make your son endure surgery with barely more than Tylenol followed by a recovery period involving an open wound being regularly soaked in feces and urine (sounds real hygienic) so that you don’t have to deal with some “extra” cleaning education in a few years? (extra in quotes here because I can’t call something “extra” truthfully when it’s nothing beyond what should normally be required).

Most of my life I thought circumcision was just what you did. It was at my mother’s encouragement that I decided to question this practice. I am eternally grateful to her for giving me the push to think. It is said so many time in circumcision debates, “the more you know, the more you are against it,” and with good reason. Asking myself what I should do, weighing the facts…there was no room for doubt. When you see your newborn son for the first time and you look into his eyes how could there be a thought in your mind of allowing him to be hurt? To have a perfect little being lying in your arms, completely reliant on you for protection, a little being that is completely innocent and unconditionally loving and trusting, that is the most amazing feeling you can ever experience. Our sons deserve to have their lives start out with love and amazement, not pain and fear.

"Finding Myself"

I hate to use such cliché terms such as “finding yourself” but sometimes I guess clichés became so for a reason because I just can’t seem to come up with a better phrase to describe what I want to say. So, I’m sorry it’s corny but it’s all I’ve got :-)

Finding yourself can be a wonderful and amazing journey. It can also be the most difficult thing you’ve ever attempted to accomplish. For me, finding myself has meant digging deep within my heart and soul and opening myself up to the higher levels of compassion and empathy that I found there. It has meant making the changes to ensure that my son was left whole at birth, to promote tolerance and awareness of all those that are “different”, to eliminate flesh from my diet, to try for baby-led weaning, to co-sleep, to hug-it-out rather than cry-it-out, to use cloth diapers, to make my own cleaning products and incorporate as many reusable things into my daily life as possible.

Many people do not understand that my aspiration for change is coming from a deeper longing to bring more love into the world. I think it all boils down to looking not just at what we are doing but why we are doing it. The choices and changes that I have made have all been with the underlying purpose of increasing compassion in my life and in the lives of those around me. Even if we have to fumble our way through to find what works for us, as long as we try to make the changes in our lives to be towards adding more love, empathy, and understanding to our lives, we’ll be doing alright.

 

Rock The Boat

Why are people so insistent that the only valid information is that which comes from scientific studies provided more often than not by companies or organizations that have money at stake? Other people who have had direct experience with any particular subject are far more reliable, honest, and real than any company will ever be. How many times do we have to watch the pattern unfold where we find out that what we were told was safe, even necessary, is then later deemed harmful? Sadly, only after too many people have been hurt, and those who tried to speak up have been ignored or ridiculed. It seems to be the norm for people to start to speak up that something is wrong and then be faced with a battle not only from the organization(s) that stand to lose but also from all the other people who don't want to acknowledge that they have been duped. I will never understand the last group. Those who stand to gain monetarily...I get that. I don't think it's right but, I understand. The people who seem hell-bent on keeping the wool over their eyes are baffling to me. Why? Why would you not want to find out everything you can even if it goes up against what was formerly believed? It used to be acceptable to own another human being. It used to be acceptable to discriminate against someone based on their skin color, religious beliefs, sexual orientation or gender. It used to be acceptable for a wife or children to be beaten. It used to be acceptable to smoke around our children in our houses and cars. It used to be acceptable to use lead paint. When people spoke up against any of those things you bet your ass there were people there to argue against the change. For some there were even all sorts of "scientific" studies done to show that previously accepted behaviors were still safe. It is still considered acceptable to circumcise our sons but, a lot of parents are starting to see the truth behind this mutilation (did you know there have been medical articles published about how circumcision reduced the occurrence of masturbation, then believed to cause all sorts of health problems?). It is still considered acceptable to vaccinate our children but, a lot of parents are starting to see the truth behind this toxicity. It is still considered acceptable to use disposable diapers but, a lot of parents are starting to see the truth not only behind the environmental damage but the potential chemical damages done to our babies as a result of the processing of disposables. Most of the reasons arguing using or participating in these thing boils down to laziness. Putting our faith in chemicals (that require minimal testing) gives more allowance to not take proper care of ourselves. You can avoid far more illnesses by eating healthy and exercising than you ever could with vaccines but it's far easier to get a shot and eat that hamburger while sitting on your ass staring at the TV. It's easier to "snip-snip" than to maintain and teach our sons proper hygiene and safe sex. It's easier to selfishly succumb to convenience than deal with a little extra cleaning. If anyone out their is content to stay in their little bubble of illusion and false security (ironically derived most often from fear mongering) that's on you but, do not expect me to sit and take it silently if you come to tell me that I have not educated myself because I don't see things like you do. I do not feel and will not feel that I am wrong for looking deeper into things or for trying to change things towards the better, even if it's only with me that the changes are made. Just because you might not want to hear the truth it does not mean that I am somehow morally obligated to shut up and get back to my proper place in line just so I don't make you uncomfortable. I will not be a sheep just to avoid rocking the boat! As far as I'm concerned we'd all be better off if we just flipped the damn boat over.