Tolerance

There are many examples of discrimination occurring at any given moment in time. It is our responsibility to fight against these prejudiced attitudes so that, one day, we can all live without fear. But we have to be aware of how we are doing so.

My showing of respect is not based on whether or not I receive it. I do not live in such a greedy world where i am only willing to offer what I am getting. I believe that we have no right to ask for or demand what we are not already giving ourselves. I believe in Karma, that what you put out will come back to you.

"Ever mind the rule of three, what you send out comes back to thee."

I fight for freedom. It does not matter what your skin color, nationality, gender, sexual identity, or religious beliefs are. I fight by promoting awareness, sharing information, and encouraging tolerance. I do not do so by trying to prove how horrible, evil, wrong, or backwards the groups containing would be oppressors are because that is only adding more hatred to the mix.

-I will not assume that all Christians are judgmental, pious, and fanatical because some of them are genuinely caring people.

-I will not assume that all Muslims are terrorists who want to silence the world because some of them are innocent to the mindsets of others.

-I will not assume all homophobes are inherently bad people because some of them are just uneducated.

-I will not assume all parents who support circumcision are perverted child abuser because some of them are misinformed or unaware that they even have an option.

-I will not assume that all mothers who formula feed are lazy and selfish because some of them are only resorting to what will feed their child when breastfeeding fails. (I personally formula fed after my son was seven months old and my milk dried up no matter what I tried)

-I will not assume that all people who eat meat do not care about and respect other living creatures or the planet because some of them don't know how damaging and devastating it really is.

-I will not assume that all people who question me are looking for a fight because some of them are genuinely curious. (I admit, I'm still working on this one a little :-P)

I will absolutely formulate my own opinions on a subject after doing my own research of both sides of the argument. I will share anything that I find interesting. I will defend those under attack-no matter who they are. I will defend my views without backing down to anyone. I will never be silent to avoid offending someone. I will not fight back so hard, so viciously that I then become the attacker. You will never help any cause if you are spreading more fear and anger instead of love and acceptance. It's all about balance.

Be strong. Be firm. Be adventurous. Be empathy. Be love.

Circumcision

Circumcision seems to be one of the hottest debate topics among parents lately. One side is fighting for the rights of parents to decide what happens to their children while the other side is fighting for the rights of infants who cannot speak for themselves.

If you can put aside your preconceived notions for a few moments and just look at the facts surrounding this issue there can be no question. Circumcision is wrong. It is an unnecessary, potentially harmful, unquestionably painful, preventative procedure performed on newborns to help with problems that are quite likely to never happen. I’m all about treatment for problems that exist, but it makes far more sense to treat a problem if it arises and not “treat” a perfectly healthy body as a “just in case”. There are many reasons given for why you should circumcise but those reasons are all fairly easy to dismiss with a healthy dose of common sense.

Religion:

Should parents mutilate their child for a religious rite? No. The circumcision procedure that is performed now is not what was originally done as a religious rite, and no matter what the parents religion is it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s their religion being imposed on his body.

Aesthetics:

Should parents mutilate their child so that their sex organ is more visually appealing? No. Honestly that entire concept is incredibly disturbing as well as being something to promote more superficiality. Why teach children that their bodies are imperfect, in any way, the way that they are born?

Social/Cultural:

Should parents mutilate their child so that they fit in better? No. Instilling good self-confidence in them will be far more effective and this too is something that promotes more superficiality and parental laziness.

Health:

Should a parent mutilate their child just to make sure that there are no problems with that part later on? No. Amputation is not prevention which is why we do not have our teeth removed to prevent cavities or our toes cut off to prevent athlete’s foot.

Hygiene:

Should a parent mutilate their child so that they have better hygiene? No. A scalpel is no substitute for a bar of soap and good hygiene is perfectly possible without involving surgery. This reasoning promotes the idea that boys are incapable of learning to wash themselves properly.

I had some conflict with my son’s father about whether or not our son would be circumcised. He was completely for it while I was (obviously) against it. One of his biggest reasons to push for it was his concern for our son being picked on once he was in school. Now, after a year and a half of getting all the information (sometimes against his will :-P) he has switched standpoints entirely-the more you know the more you are against it. He now acknowledges that worrying about your kid being picked on if they’re intact is fairly ridiculous. For one, your kid is going to get picked on no matter what you do or don’t do. Other kids will find something, they always do. For two, where is this epidemic of boys in locker rooms all comparing their junk? That was one of the things that DH said, he wasn’t sure why he was so worried about him getting picked on because that’s just not something that’s a common topic of discussion. I mean, really, most other children who would be closed minded and cruel enough to think lesser of a boy who was intact are probably not secure enough in themselves to actually admit that they were looking at another boy’s penis.

But the number one reason I hear for circumcision to still happen is not fear of teasing it is hygiene. Come on folks, it just seems like the epitome of parental laziness to put your newborn through a surgical procedure with little to no painkillers just so that cleaning their winky is easier when they’re older. Time and again people have insisted to me that little boys just “aren’t capable of proper hygiene”. Yes they are!! Little boys are just as able to clean themselves as little girls are; the simple fact is that all kids are rather gross. We, as parents, have the responsibility to make sure we teach our children how to care for themselves and take the next step to make sure that they are actually doing it. It is our job. My five year old has a problem wiping properly, I don’t wish that she had been circumcised so that it would be easier to keep clean I simply make sure I help her clean herself until she is able to do it properly for herself. How incredibly selfish is it to make your son endure surgery with barely more than Tylenol followed by a recovery period involving an open wound being regularly soaked in feces and urine (sounds real hygienic) so that you don’t have to deal with some “extra” cleaning education in a few years? (extra in quotes here because I can’t call something “extra” truthfully when it’s nothing beyond what should normally be required).

Most of my life I thought circumcision was just what you did. It was at my mother’s encouragement that I decided to question this practice. I am eternally grateful to her for giving me the push to think. It is said so many time in circumcision debates, “the more you know, the more you are against it,” and with good reason. Asking myself what I should do, weighing the facts…there was no room for doubt. When you see your newborn son for the first time and you look into his eyes how could there be a thought in your mind of allowing him to be hurt? To have a perfect little being lying in your arms, completely reliant on you for protection, a little being that is completely innocent and unconditionally loving and trusting, that is the most amazing feeling you can ever experience. Our sons deserve to have their lives start out with love and amazement, not pain and fear.

"Finding Myself"

I hate to use such cliché terms such as “finding yourself” but sometimes I guess clichés became so for a reason because I just can’t seem to come up with a better phrase to describe what I want to say. So, I’m sorry it’s corny but it’s all I’ve got :-)

Finding yourself can be a wonderful and amazing journey. It can also be the most difficult thing you’ve ever attempted to accomplish. For me, finding myself has meant digging deep within my heart and soul and opening myself up to the higher levels of compassion and empathy that I found there. It has meant making the changes to ensure that my son was left whole at birth, to promote tolerance and awareness of all those that are “different”, to eliminate flesh from my diet, to try for baby-led weaning, to co-sleep, to hug-it-out rather than cry-it-out, to use cloth diapers, to make my own cleaning products and incorporate as many reusable things into my daily life as possible.

Many people do not understand that my aspiration for change is coming from a deeper longing to bring more love into the world. I think it all boils down to looking not just at what we are doing but why we are doing it. The choices and changes that I have made have all been with the underlying purpose of increasing compassion in my life and in the lives of those around me. Even if we have to fumble our way through to find what works for us, as long as we try to make the changes in our lives to be towards adding more love, empathy, and understanding to our lives, we’ll be doing alright.